maxknightley:

maxknightley:

from what I’ve seen, there are exactly Three Jobs hiring at any given time. they are:

  • senior logistics strategist at Hewlett Packard. $140,000 / year. requirements: three separate MBAs, fifteen years of business experience, no “ethnic” grandparents, unearned sense of confidence
  • “customer success ambassador” at Glurp. $70,000 / year, give or take, since 90% of your pay is based on commission. requirements: associate’s degree, no experience, has never heard the phrase “pyramid scheme,” no sense of shame
  • part-time server at Le Bon Mot. $15-$16/hr depending on level of experience. must work weekends, overnight shifts, holidays, while asleep. requirements: you will let customers spit on you.

I feel like I make some variant on this post once every two weeks, which should tell you how well the job hunt’s going.

(via rougarousmooch)

literallyaflame:

literallyaflame:

literallyaflame:

how do conservatives think talking to children works? if a four year old came up to me and said “i’m a cat!!” i would say “really? what makes you a cat?” and they’d say some shit like “i have claws >:)” and i’d be like “oh wow, you do have claws. but wait, i thought cats had pointed ears!” and they’d say “they DO!!!” and then i’d pull up a picture of an elf and ask “is THIS a cat?” and they’d yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

u wouldn’t say “fucking hell, Emily, get it together. this is the real world”

pardon me, i should clarify. you wouldn’t say that, assuming that you aren’t a total dipshit. i would not say that either. some people, however, hate children and firmly believe that everyone should be miserable unless they’re at church

several of you pointed out that, often, conservative christians want you to be especially miserable at church. so true. grave oversight on my part

(via rougarousmooch)

mzcain27:

I think game studios should just release their character creators online. For the times when I don’t wanna play the whole game, just the lil dress up part

(via leafcrunch)

wayneradiotv:

gomjabbar:

gomjabbar:

that one song from persona: trinity soul that’s a swanky chill jazz song but then this rando starts rapping over the music one minute in without warning and they’re the worst bars you’ve ever heard in your life

image

im in the house like carpet

(via birdship)

ghostieking:

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was feeling down. saw smug cat. felt happy. drew cat with brushes i’ve been meaning to try. serotonin captured. (truly can’t find the tumblr post anywhere now, it i saw it here on tumblr… if this is your cat: it is extremely cute and made me happy)

(via boymounter)

veggiecorner:

veggiecorner:

People who fully believe Link only cares about his duty which is why he sticks around Zelda is so funny like genuinely this is probably what Link tells himself too everyday as he makes her breakfast while she sleeps in their shared bed

Link: Being Princess Zelda’s protected knight includes many responsibilities which I take seriously. This includes protecting her, going on journeys with her, making sure she’s safe and healthy

Also Link: In order for that I must be near her of course. So we live together, naturally. We also share the same bed because I have to make sure she’s sleeping. Also I make her 3 meals a day, including spoiling her with deserts cause she smiles so sweetly when she gets them. Also making her favorite lavender tea (with a hint of milk and 4 sugars). It’s also within my duty to kiss her awake when the sun shines within the right ang-

(via skipppppy)

ssundiall:

i hate it when you ask people to treat fat people with just some semblance of decency and you get hit with “stop promoting obesity” -_-…………….. just because you said that im promoting obesity now.

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(via rougarousmooch)